Sleepless Thoughts
by fallen
Summary: yuki x shuichi male/male pairing Yuki watches Shuichi as he sleeps and has an unsettling thought. It's my first fic so please r


Author: Amanda [ fallen ]  
Pairing: Yuki/Shuichi  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of it's characters, although I wish I did...  
Note:This fic involved male to male relationships. Although, if you're in the gravi section you should know that...  
This is my first posted fanfiction. I don't think I wrote this very well, but that's what happens when you write at midnight!  
Please read and review, tell me what you think! Thanks.  
Shuichi was sleeping. He was worn out from a long practice with Bad Luck.   
His soft pink hair was covering his face like a halo. His chest was slowly rising up and down,   
and one arm was tossed carelessly across Yuki's stomach. He loved to watch Shuichi sleep.   
He always looked so calm and carefree. Yuki wondered what he looked like when he was sleeping.   
Shuichi's arm shifted, caressing Yuki's chest. "Love......Yuki..." he murmured. Yuki stiffened.  
  
He loves me. Pure unconditional love. I don't understand it, can't possibly understand how you could love a bitter bastard like me.   
You're so bright, energetic, full of life. I'm a cold bitter bastard. I hurt you. I make you cry.  
  
And yet...you always come back.   
  
But what if he didn't?  
  
Yuki didn't want his thoughts to stray in this direction. But they ploughed on, unrelentless.  
What if he was gone? What if you came home and the apartment was empty, came home and Shuichi was gone?  
I'd be happy, Yuki told himself. I'd be relieved. I'd- you would be terrified. You would feel abandoned.   
It's no more than I deserve...Don't you see Yuki?  
Don't you realize that one day he's going to wake up and discover that he's wasting his life. He's going to realize that he doesn't need you. And he'll be gone.  
  
Yuki suddenly found it very hard to breathe. He realized that he was scared to loose him. Just the thought of living without Shuichi made him numb.  
  
When did this happen?  
Yuki tried to remember. He couldn't. In his mind there had never been a beginning.   
That idiot knows how I feel about him. He knows, knows that I-  
Knows that you what Yuki? The voice taunted. You can't even bring himself to think the words.  
How could he know?  
Yuki looked over to Shuichi, who had the peaceful expression on his face of one in blissful sleep.  
I do things for him all the time, he protested. Little things...but he can tell. He knows.  
You insult him day and night. You mock his songs. He knows you don't care. And one day he'll snap. He'll leave.  
Yuki tried to swallow and found he couldn't. He looked over at his little lover sprawled beside him, bathed in early morning sunlight. Shucihi couldn't think that...could he? What if he needed to hear the words, needed to reassured?   
Oh, damn.  
What was he about to do?  
  
Shucihi stirred in his sleep then opened his eyes. He blinked sleepily around the room until his gaze settled on Yuki. Yuki suddenly became very busy studying the pillow he had been lying on, trying to pretend that he hadn't been watching Shuichi sleep. But of course he did notice. "Yuki!" he squealed and pounced on him. Yuki ignored him and stared up at the ceiling.   
  
"Why are you here?" he asked softly. He half hoped Shuichi wouldn't hear. But he had. Shucihi started. "B-because I want to be with Yuki." "Liar."  
  
"I hurt you. I make you cry. I call you names." Each word was an accusation. And it was true. Shuichi wriggled and tried to meet Yuki's gaze. Yuki refused to look at him. "That's just Yuki being Yuki." he remarked cheerfully. But Yuki wasn't fooled. He detected a light dim in Shuichi's eyes, a small shadow of doubt. Yuki was silent. He didn't want to think about what he was about to do.   
  
"Shuichi." he said quietly, half hoping he wouldn't hear. But of course he did. Shuichi, sensing something had changed, answered seriously. "Yuki." I love you. The words were on the tip of his tounge, waiting to come out. "Nothing." was what he said, and rather harshly at that. Idiot. Coward. Shuichi crawled up on Yuki's stomach, waiting silently Yuki could feel Shuichi's taunt muscles underneath him and he tensed. He had to do it. Shuichi needed to hear it. He needed to know he was capable of saying the words. He wasn't a coward. He would do this. He turned his face toward Shuichi's and focused on a spot somewhere behind Shuichi's head. He could hear his heart thumping violently. Funny. He didn't know it could do that.   
  
"I love you." The words spilled from his lips, petal soft. They felt clumsy formed on his lips.   
He risked a glance at Shuichi. His eyes were wide with shock.   
Yuki felt naked, exposed. He felt.....vulnerable.  
He didn't like this feeling.  
What if....what if Shuichi -didn't- love him? What if the words had been empty, devoid of emotion? What if-  
"N-nani?" Shucihi stammered. Damn.  
He had to say it again?  
  
"I love you." he said more firmly, this time looking into his lover's beautiful eyes. This time it was easier, he felt almost natural saying the words. Hardly believing his own words, he found himself whispering, "Please don't leave me."  
The words seemed to have finally sunk in for Shuichi. "Oh Yuki!" he cried, "I love you too!" He pressed his body against Yuki's and held him tighter. "Leave you? Oh, never, never."  
Shuichi pushed himself up until he was just inches from Yuki's nose.  
"You love me."  
Shuichi's breath tickled his lips. Shuichi kissed him.  
And Yuki kissed back. 


End file.
